Delights of December
by Sgt.Pepperony
Summary: Twelve festive offerings based off song prompts. Includes Secret Santa, a conversation of breast sizes, and a Nativity play with an unexpected improvisation. T due to discussion of breast sizes. No seriously. *Complete*
1. Rocking Around the Christmas Tree

**Title: **Delights Of December**  
>Author:<strong> Sgt. Pepperony  
><strong>Fandom: <strong>Avengers (MCU)  
><strong>Rating:<strong> T because of discussions of breast sizes (probably one of the weirdest conversations I have ever written by the way; I swear I was not drunk. Okay, I might have been drinking at the time but like one bottle of cider.)  
><strong>Pairings: <strong>Tony/Pepper, Steve/Wanda, Thor/Jane, implied Clint/Natasha.  
><strong>Disclaimer: <strong>I do not own the Avengers, characters, just the kids except Luna. Property of Marvel and Disney. Do not own the songs as they belong to the writers and record companies. Image is owned by me. This is all connected to my other stories starting between chapter 13 and 14 of Labour of Love.

Chapter One

_Rocking around the Christmas tree,  
>Have a happy holiday.<br>Everyone's dancing merrily,  
>in a new old fashioned way.<em>

_Brenda Lee – Rocking Around the Christmas Tree_

Virginia Potts was not pleased.

Her plan on the Saturday before Christmas had been to do some last minute Christmas shopping with Wanda Maximoff. However with Wanda's husband Steve Rogers being busy trying to sort out some S.H.I.E.L.D related drama, Tony had wrangled Pepper into helping him get a tree, mainly to test out some new features on the hand of Iron Man. Wanda had insisted that it was fine as she needed to go to the doctors anyway. However, rather than going to a lot to buy their Christmas tree, Tony had drove her out to the middle of a forest to cut down a real fir tree, while it was snowing heavily and it was absolutely freezing.

"This has to be the dumbest idea you have come up with. Only I think this time it is illegal," Pepper exclaimed, dragging her boot covered feet through the blanket of snow. They had only been out of the car for five minutes and her nose was already redder than her hair.

"Come on Pep, this is how the people in the 1800s did it."

"I doubt they would have had the arm for the Iron Man Mark Two Billion on their sleeves. Why could you not have used an axe like a normal person? Now the living room is going to smell of burning wood."

"Considering the amount of candles and floral bath products you use in our bathroom, I am surprised my nose has not disintegrated yet."

"Tony, I booked a day off to try to get the Christmas shopping done. I still have not gotten anything for Bruce or even my mother."

"Why don't you get them a jumper? Like you always do."

"Why could we not gone to a Christmas tree lot? There are genuine trees there as well."

"I read somewhere about pesticides being used. I don't want Wanda being exposed to it. Not with the baby."

"She's only three weeks away from her due date, I think it is only damaging in the early stages and with long term exposure."

"I'm not taking the risk, especially now they are living with us. It's bad enough the kid has a mother with psionic abilities, and a father who has been injected with radiation. Either that baby is going to be amazingly powerful or disabled."

"Depends whose chromosomes are the more dominant I suppose. Anyway, can we just cut a tree down already?"

"Not until we find the perfect tree."

"Fine, I'm going back to the car," Pepper said turning around and walking back in the opposite direction.

"Of course you are Pep." Tony kept moving forwards until he found a big enough tree with enough space for it to fall without it landing on the other trees. "Great, let's just get the…" Tony turned around and noticed that Pepper had disappeared, and she was holding the case with the Iron Man sleeve in. "Pep? Pep? Pepper? Honey?" Not hearing a response, Tony grabbed his phone from his pocket, "Damn it no signal. How could this phone not have a signal? I practically invented this phone to have a signal even in the Himalayas."

Moving around with the phone in the air, Tony decided to climb one of the trees to see if he could get a bar on his phone. It was not until he got to the fifth branch up that he managed to get at least two bars. "Ah brilliant," Tony stated dialling Pepper's number.

"Yes Tony," she answered.

"Slight problem, I think you have the case with the hand inside."

"No I don't," Pepper said looking in the car seat beside her, where the case was. "Okay, maybe I do."

"Great can you bring it here?"

"Tony, I do not know where you are in the forest, I could end up getting lost."

"Okay, maybe I can use the prehensile technology to draw it to where I am."

"Can it go that far?"

"It's gone from Tennessee to Florida before. Three miles is no problem."

"Okay, let me get out of the car."

"Let me get off this tree."

"Why are you in a tree?"

"Signal boost."

Pepper grabbed the case and the car key and left the warmth of the car, "Okay Tony are you ready?"

"Not quite I have my foot stuck."

"Oh for goodness sakes," she murmured.

"Hold on, if I just get my boot off – whoa!" Pepper heard the crunch of snow and some branches snapping.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I think the coat I am wearing broke the fall. I'm going to need some help getting the tree back to the car though."

"I'm certain that the robotic sleigh you built last year is strong enough for the tree." Pepper used the code on the case to open it, "Okay, I'm unleashing the hand." Tony raised his hand and as soon as Pepper opened the case, the hand flew out of the case. "It's coming."

It took the best part of half an hour for Tony to return. The sleigh broke down due to the weight of the tree a good mile into the trip back to the car. He had to use the blasters on the hand to get somehow as far as he could but the blasters gave out pretty quickly. In the end he pushed it all the way back.

"Thanks for the help Pep." Pepper just smiled at him from inside the car. "Can I at least get some strapping it to the top of the car?"

-o-

Eventually, though not without some hitches, they arrived back at the Tower in one piece. However the elevator was too small to get the tree inside so they had to carry it all the way to the lounge on the top floor.

"Why did we design this place to be about ninety floors?" asked Pepper who was on the verge of collapsing as soon as she got to the top floor with the lounge.

"I don't know. It might have something to do with the different departments of Stark Industry and the fact we decided to make about twenty floors just for the Avengers."

"Well considering that is only really Wanda and Steve that live with us permanently –."

"Temporarily. They are only here until they buy a house."

"Okay, for the foreseeable future, we could just utilise one floor as a training base and then three can be guest rooms."

"What about the other floors?"

"I don't know. An entertainment complex perhaps." The couple entered the lounge where they carried the tree all the way to the window by the balcony.

"Okay, let's get that tree into the holder and then you can leave me to decorate."

"Don't you want my help?"

"You've had a rough day."

"Fine. I'll just watch the rest of this film." Tony sat down on the other couch. Fifteen minutes later, he was completely passed out, leaving Pepper to grab the box of Christmas decorations out of storage.

"Okay, what colour scheme are we going for this year? Red and white or red and gold?" she asked herself.

"It depends if you want the lounge to look like a candy cane or an Iron Man suit," JARVIS answered.

"I'm thinking candy cane."

"A good choice. Between you and me, we don't need any more gold and red in this tower." Pepper smiled and stated untangling the white lights.

-o-

Four hours later, Tony had woken up and looked at the now decorated lounge. Pepper had covered the tree with the lights and a mixture of white and red ornaments. The room had lights draped around the large mirror, the smell of pine, balsam, and holly berry coming from the Yankee Candle® Christmas Wreath, a decoration on the fireplace, and a mistletoe star handing from the curtain pole.

"Oh dear god. Have I entered the lounge of candy canes?"

"Sir, I did help Ms Potts chose the colour scheme," JARVIS explained.

"Did you not think to consult me?"

"Sir, I do recall the last time I asked for your input on decorating Christmas trees, you said that I should keep my mouth shut, though it was more colourfully articulated?"

"When was that?"

"About two weeks ago."

"This is a great day. I fall out of a tree, I end up pushing a sleigh three miles, I wake up in Santa's village of the damned, and to top it off, my A.I. is sassing me off."

"To be honest, when have I _not_ sassed you off?"

"Keep pushing me JARVIS and I'll pour milk onto your wires and stuff cookies into your core processor."

"Tony, be nice," Pepper chastised coming into the room.

"He started it."

"Well, instead of stuffing cookies into JARVIS's core processer, can you put your grandmother's angel on top of the tree?"

"Pepper, surely in your heels you could reach it by yourself." Pepper raised one eyebrow and Tony signed getting off the couch. He grabbed the angel from the box and climbed the step ladder, carefully placing it on top of the tree. "That okay?"

"Yes, it looks perfect." Tony climbed down from the ladder and stood by Pepper.

"Okay, I will admit that is not awful," Tony said. "Though I would have preferred the red and gold."

"I think there is enough red and gold in this tower," Pepper responded. Tony glared. Pepper gave Tony a kiss on the lips, "What was that for?"

"It's Christmas."

"Next year we are getting one from the lot. I only wanted to test of the Iron Hand could cut a tree down. Not so good on getting it back to the car."

"Let's just hope the police do not find out."

"So what do you think? Sixty forty?"

"Would you settle for twelve?" Pepper raised her eyebrow. "Sixty forty is good."


	2. Santa Baby

Chapter Two

_Santa baby, slip a sable under the tree, for me.  
>I've been an awful good girl,<br>Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.  
>Santa baby, an out-of-space convertible too, light blue.<br>I'll wait up for you dear,  
>Santa baby, and hurry down the chimney tonight.<em>

_Eartha Kitt - Santa Baby_

"Darcy, why are you carrying a Santa Clause hat and dressed like an elf?" Jane asked when Darcy walked into the living room dressed in an elf's costume.

"It's a sex thing isn't it?" asked Wanda

"Why do you think so little of me?" asked Darcy looking a little offended.

"Do I need to elaborate?" asked Jane.

"I wish you would not," Wanda murmured. "Seriously though, why are you dressed like Santa's Little Helper?"

"I thought it would be a good idea to do Secret Santa this year."

"Why?" asked Jane.

"I doubt anyone has the time to buy a present for everyone and considering that there is now a baby to spoil, people may not be asking what the adults want."

"What is the real reason?"

"I'm broke."

It could be fun," Wanda replied, "I know that it is just going to be us three couples and Darcy this year as Natasha has gone on a mission, Bruce is helping out a lab in South Korea and Pietro is going on vacation. Also, why do you expect people to spoil my daughter?"

"There is a good reason for that actually," Jane said.

"What has Thor bought?" Wanda asked expecting the worst.

"You'll find out Christmas morning. I'm going to suggest you keep it as far away from Evelyn as possible."

"Please do not tell me that Darcy is engaging in a role-playing situation," Steve said coming into the room.

"No. Secret Santa," Darcy stated firmly.

"What is that?"

"What you do is that you pick a name from a hat and you have to buy them a gift on a budget of twenty bucks but you cannot let the person you have chosen know that you are buying them a gift."

"Hence the term secret," said Jane.

"Do you want to choose first?" Darcy asked holding out the hat to Jane.

"Sure why not?" she said dipping her hand in. She rummaged around and pulled out a small folded up sheet.

"So who did you pick?" asked Wanda.

"I'm not allowed to say."

"Wanda, your turn," Darcy said holding the hat up to Wanda. Wanda pulled out the first paper she grabbed and opened it.

"Why is Darcy in fancy dress?" asked Thor looking confused.

"I was going to ask the same thing," Tony said.

"Secret Santa," Jane answered. "Pick a name."

They both dipped in and pulled out their folded sheet.

"Okay, I can deal with this," said Tony

I am not too certain about mine," Thor stated.

"Why?" asked Darcy. Thor showed her the name. "Ah, just pick another then put the name you picked out back in the hat." Thor did it and nodded. "Okay, I have two more names so me and Pepper have to pick."

"Pepper is busy doing paperwork. She nearly bit my head off when I brought her lunch earlier," Tony explained.

"Thus enters the spirit of Christmas," Darcy said walking away.

"Okay, who needs to swap?" asked Tony.

-o-

"Well, this business proposal was e-mailed to you on Monday and it needs to be read and signed by the twenty-fourth," Pepper said down the phone. She looked up for a moment and saw Darcy in the elf's costume. "I have to call you back, something just came up." Pepper put the phone down. "Please do not tell me this is an attempt to film a porn movie."

"Okay why does everyone keep equating this costume to sex?" asked Darcy getting rather annoyed.

"You do not want to know. So why are you here when I am trying to work?"

"Secret Santa. I have two sheets left and it is just you and I left to choose," answered Darcy holding out the hat.

"Do I have to?"

"Yes.

Pepper sighed and picked one of the sheets out and put it on his desk without opening it. "Aren't you going to open it?"

"Darcy, I have about ten tons of paperwork to file before Christmas Eve. I know you are just trying to inject some fun but I am just stressed at the moment."

"Fine, just so you know there is going to be some carolling later. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is to sing loud for all to hear." Darcy said turning to walk out.

"Is that what your father says?"

"No Buddy the Elf." she said walking out and picked her name out of the hat. "Um Pepper, can we swap?"

-o-

Christmas morning and everyone had gathered around the tree, the baby put down for a nap and Pepper had brought some cinnamon laced coffee up with some melon, grapes and croissants. Steve had been handing the presents out, Thor's (actually from Lady Sif as it turned out) gift to Evelyn being a child's warrior set.

"Maybe we will save that for when she is older," Steve said placing the sword back in the box. "But thank her ladyship for us."

"I understand and I am sure she will," Thor answered.

"So, let's see what we all bought for each other for secret Santa," said Darcy placing her gift in the centre of the circle. Everyone followed suit and placed their gifts in the middle. "Shall I go first or…"

"No it's fine," everyone answered collectively. "I picked Steve's name in the end."

"In the end?" asked Steve taking the gift wrapped in Santa Claus wrapping paper. Once unwrapped it revealed a blank CD in its case. "Um…"

"It is a mix of songs that you have enjoyed since being defrosted. There is a lot of Ellie Goulding and Adele. Seems you might have a thing for foreign women."

"I don't think I fell in love with Wanda because of her foreignness," Steve said. "Thank you though."

"You have to admit the accent is a little sexy," Wanda winked.

"I'll go next then." said Tony handing an envelope to Wanda. Wanda opened it and she revealed some tickets to see _The Music Man_. "I just thought since you had Evelyn that you would like some time to yourself. There are a couple more if you wanted to take anyone else."

"Thanks Tony, this is really sweet of you," Wanda said. "I might as well give my present to Darcy. It's more or less handmade."

"More or less?" asked Darcy.

"Well, I tried to make it from scratch but after two attempts I bought some packet mix."

Darcy unwrapped the present, "Brownies?"

"Yeah, I could not think of anything else."

"I'll go next," Pepper said picking up one present and handing it to Jane. "I know you said you needed a new bag. Online shopping is the greatest thing ever."

"Oh fantastic. Thanks you. Um, mine is for Mr Stark."

"You can stop calling me Mr Stark. Just Tony will suffice," Tony said grabbing the present with his name on. "Twelve-year-old Glenkinchie single malt whisky. Thor, your woman is fantastic."

"Yes I do believe she is."

"Speaking of which, we have two gifts left so Thor do you want to open yours?" asked Steve. "It's your favourite."

"A year's supply of Pop Tarts®? This is the greatest gift someone could ever give."

"You are very welcome."

"So this must be my present from Thor," Pepper stated taking the last present. "I am really curious as to what it is."

"I think you may enjoy this gift."

"A bubble gum dispenser," Pepper stated rather astonished.

"I thought you would be less hungry during work."

"Yeah, that is actually a really good idea."

"Okay, that's it for the gifts," Steve stated.

"Actually, could you do with two more surprises?" asked Natasha coming into the lounge with Clint.

"Natasha!" Wanda exclaimed running over to her

"Hey, Merry Christmas."

"I thought you were on a mission," Pepper said as she and everyone else came over.

"Turns out I am just very awesome," Clint explained with a smirk. "So how is everyone?"

"Great," everyone answered with some variant on the word depending on the person.

"I take it someone got very spoilt," Natasha commented upon the gifts in front of the tree.

"I conveyed a gift of a child's warrior set for the young Evelyn," Thor replied.

"We're going to wait until she is older," Steve added.

"So, what is for dinner? I'm starving," asked Clint.

"Ham," answered Jane.

"As cooked by yours truly," Tony said. "Speaking of which, I may as well get it prepared."

Just as Tony left, Clint asked, "Are we seriously trusting him with a ham?"

"Don't worry, I made sure JARVIS has a range of takeout orders ready in case," Pepper winked.


	3. Christmas Wrapping

Chapter Three

_So deck those hall, trim those trees,  
>Raise up cups of Christmas cheer.<br>I just need to catch my breath,  
>Christmas by myself this year.<em>

_The Waitresses – Christmas Wrapping_

"Ow you son of a –"

"Tony!" Pepper interrupted before he ended up swearing in front of Luna.

"That really hurt."

"What are you trying to do?" asked Pietro.

"I am trying to fix the boom box. That darling niece of yours decided it would be funny to stuff a cookie inside."

"Well Wanda at least told her it was a bad thing to do and she should never do it again," Pepper explained.

"I should hope not. It's not exactly cute when I have to pick out cookie crumbs from the laser."

"Yeah, but even you cannot resist those big blue eyes," Clint commented.

"I'm not as big a pushover as you are when it comes to babies Birdbrain."

"Sir, Ms Maximoff is in need of help," JARVIS declared through the monitors.

"I'll go," Pietro said. "Where is she JARVIS?"

"In the nursery Mr Maximoff." Pietro made his way down towards the nursery where Wanda had put Evelyn to bed in the crib.

"What do you need help with?"

"I need you to help me bring up the tubes of wrapping paper, tape and scissors while I bring up the … box."

"The box?"

"You know the box."

"Oh the box." Pietro finally understood what she was on about. "Where is all that stuff?"

"In my room." Her brother sped out of the room and then back within two seconds, Luna in his arms. "I thought we agreed you would not do that with your child in your arms."

"Maybe the dizziness can get her to sleep."

"It does not really work like that Daddy," Luna commented.

"It doesn't," Wanda added. "Anyway, I'll put the kids to bed."

"You already have one in bed."

"Is she asleep?"

"No."

"Exactly. I'll be up in about half an hour."

"Well, Stark is still miffed about the boom box. It's best to keep clear until he has managed to clean it."

"I did say sorry." Pietro gave Luna a kiss on the head and left the room leaving Wanda with just her daughter and niece. "Come on Luna, let's get you to bed."

"Why?"

"Well, Santa does not come for children who stay up past their bedtime on Christmas Eve. Hence the lyrics 'he sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake'."

"Okay," Luna said climbing onto the small camping bed. "Will you leave out the milk and cookies for Santa?"

"Of course. Uncle Steve is out getting some more considering Evelyn stuffed the last batch into the boom box."

"Will she not get presents because she was bad?"

"Of course she will get presents. Santa understands that babies have no sense of right and wrong." Wanda tucked Luna under the bedsheets while the child looked at something wrapped around her aunt's neck.

"What's this?"

"It's your Uncle Steve's tags from when he was in the army."

"Steven G. Rogers, 0-462368 T42 43 O. What does the number mean?"

"I believe he said it was his army serial number and the O at the end stood for officer."

"Why did you marry Uncle Steve?"

"I fell in love with him. Also he proposed on Christmas day and bless him he tried to make it as romantic as possible."

"Are you happy?"

"I have your daddy, you, Steve and my little girl. I have great friends and I have a job I enjoy, even if it is just being your Aunt Pepper's personal assistant. Honestly, this is the happiest I have been in years."

"Will you have another baby?"

"Um… I don't know to be honest Luna."

"My mommy says she does not want another child."

"Is that why Daddy keeps coming to Christmas without her?" Luna nodded. Wanda gave her a kiss on the forehead. "Okay. Just try to get to sleep. Night Luna."

"Night Auntie Wanda." Wanda went over to the crib where Evelyn was close to falling asleep.

"Night Evie," she said giving her daughter a kiss.

-o-

Back upstairs, Steve had returned with the cookies, Tony had fixed the boom box, Pepper was sorting the gifts in the stockings, Clint was flicking through the television channels and Pietro was finishing wrapping the scooter he got Luna for Christmas. After thirty seconds, Clint settled on _It's a Wonderful Life_.

"Kids are asleep," Wanda declared walking into the lounge, "or at least in bed."

"We now have cookies," replied Steve. Tony shot him a look. "We did apologise."

"Two hours Rogers. Two hours." Wanda sat in front of Pietro who had managed to get the appropriate length of wrapping paper to fit around the box.

"Why did you not get her a tricycle?" asked Wanda.

"She'll outgrow it too quickly."

"Fair enough," Wanda took the scissors and the Miss Piggy toy preparing to wrap it. "So, Luna was saying that you keep coming to Christmas wifeless is because you two keep arguing over having another baby."

"She said that one is enough. I don't really want another kid either but she's not even open to the idea."

"Wait, if you both don't want kids, then why are you arguing over it?"

"Well, you know when people say that if it happens it happens?" Wanda nodded. "She won't even consider that a possibility."

"Pietro, at the end of the day, you are not the one that has to carry a baby. I've been pregnant. It's difficult and not always certain to go to plan. It is worth it in the end though but it has to be something you both agree on."

"Did you agree to have Evelyn?"

"Of course I did. I wanted to have her. Steve and I made an agreement years ago that if I ended up pregnant unexpectedly, then we let bygones be bygones. Does it mean we weren't scared? I was more afraid than he was but I don't have that 1940s mentality that prepares me for motherhood. You cannot force someone to have a baby if they do not want to."

"I suppose you have a point."

"There is no suppose about it," Wanda stated. "I have a point."

"Okay, the stockings are done, I can finally indulge on some wine," Pepper said grabbing a glass. "Anyone care for a glass?"

"No," answered Tony.

"Um … No offence Stark but are you feeling alright?" asked Pietro.

"After last year, I now have to lower my intake of alcohol."

"Why? Doctor say you've damaged your liver at last?" asked Clint.

"Don't you remember how hungover he was last year?" asked Steve.

"Oh shut up Rogers."

"Tony!" Pepper snapped at her husband.

"What, there is no kids in the room?"

"Just don't push your luck. You are still on probation after our vacation in July."

"In my defence, I did not realised that waiter also moonlighted as a male escort," Tony said plugging the boom box in. Pietro narrowed his eyes in confusion whereas Clint muted the television expecting to hear the whole story.

"You really don't want to know," Steve said. Disappointed, Clint put the sound back on.

"That aside, how are you going to trick your kid into believing Santa exists?"

"Who said anything about tricking? It's a natural process of childhood," Steve answered.

"Besides, it's Steve who has to do it. I never grew up with the Santa myth," Wanda added.

"Myth?" asked Steve. Clint muted the television again preparing for this debate.

"Do you honestly think it is plausible for a man to travel around to every Christian's home – a population that is about a third of the world's population - plus those who just celebrate Christmas for the sake of it, gets down a chimney, delivers the presents, indulges on cookies and milk – which would give him indigestion considering how fast he would have to be? That is not accounting for the time difference."

"She was like this as a kid as well. She thought the Norse myths were crap as well," Pietro explained.

"Thor is technically not a god," Wanda responded.

"Honey? Don't you think you might be overthinking it a little?" Steve asked.

"You still have not answered my question."

Steve stuttered before saying, "Santa is not a myth."

"A myth is a widely held but false belief or idea or an exaggerated conception of a person or thing. Ergo Santa Claus."

"Wow, you are full of Christmas spirt," Clint said sarcastically. "However, she has a point."

"So wait, you never grew up with anything like Santa Claus?" asked Pepper.

"Contrary to what F.R.I.E.N.D.S said, there is no such thing as a part-Jewish armadillo being Santa's representative for the Southern states _and_ Mexico. Nor was Superman in the story of Hanukah."

"Roma families do celebrate Christmas. It is a mostly a Christian based society," Pietro explained. "It's just that we grew up so poor that I suppose our parents thought that getting our hopes up that Santa would come with presents."

"Prior to us being in … that place we stayed with a Serbian-Jewish couple for a short while. They explained the concept of Hanukah and Christmas," added Wanda. "While it is possible there was a Messiah, the same way Moses existed, I think the existence of Santa Claus is a far stretch."

"Okay, fair enough," Steve said giving her a kiss on his wife's head. "Wait, I thought you already wrapped that Miss Piggy toy."

"No. I hope you are not getting Black Friday PTSD," Wanda noted the slight

"I think I was more afraid of Natasha than the other shoppers."

"I think Thor certainly knows not to mess with her now, if he doesn't already," Pepper commented.

"She insists it was an accident. Seeing as I have been at the other end of her fists, I'm not entirely sure," said Clint.

"Wait, was that the reason he had a black eye after Thanksgiving?" asked Pietro.

"Yeah you really do not want to know," Steve stated.

-o-

Once the final presents were wrapping the presents, Pepper and Wanda went down to check on the meat in preparation for the next day.

"Did your parents really let you and Pietro grow up without a concept of someone like Santa Claus?" asked Pepper.

"As he said, it seemed better than having a child cry because Santa did not bring them a gift."

"Hm… I guess that is fair but Wanda don't you wish that you had something like that?"

"Not really. It is not like I am the only child to miss out. However, I understand what it is like to be a child in poverty, hence why every Hanukah, I make up one of those gift boxes you give to charities. Nothing too expensive but stuff that would not be taken for granted."

"Bob Geldof would be proud."

"However living in poverty is all in the past. As I said to Luna earlier this evening, this is the happiest I think I will ever be."

"But?"

"But what?"

"Usually there is a but when someone says something positive."

"Between you and me, I think I want another baby."

"Oh. Well, I cannot imagine it would be difficult."

"I know but I still have a child in diapers and then … well to put it mildly, pregnancy sucks. I haven't told Steve yet but I imagine he will like the idea."

"I always did wonder what it would be like to have a baby but then you have the obvious reasons."

"Tony? He likes kids; it kind of helps that he is one himself."

"It's not that. Well not solely that. Running a multi-billion dollar company is a full-time job."

"You could always turn JARVIS into a nanny robot."

"I'm not sure he would be happy about that."

"You are not wrong Miss Potts."

"I should speak to Steve about it. See what he thinks."

-o-

Wanda had gone to check on the girls before she went to bed but found herself staring at the photo frame on the wall. It was white with the word family written in the middle. Thor and Jane had brought for the baby shower she had two years previously and Wanda had spent a good deal of her maternity leave sorting through the photographs.

There was one of Steve's parents, one of Pietro and Luna, one with an exhausted looking but happy Wanda holding her new born daughter and another with Wanda and Steve on their wedding day. There were about three blank spaces that Wanda had intended to fill at some point.

There were smaller photos in frames on the bookcase including Tony and Pepper on her birthday, an Independence Day (and joint birthday party for Steve) with Thor and Darcy taking the red-white-and-blue theme too seriously while Jane tried her hardest not to laugh; the last three involved Bruce playing Santa for a charity drive a few years ago, Natasha from what looked to be from the party that ended in Tony and Rhodey in a fight and finally just one of Clint at a gathering of some sort.

"I thought you were coming to bed?" Steve asked coming into the room.

"I went to check on the girls, but I must have gotten distracted."

"By the photo frame?"

"I was just thinking."

"About what?"

"Well, this is our daughter's family. However I was thinking that maybe she needs more actual biological relatives."

"What do you mean?"

"What do you think about giving Evelyn a sibling?"

"Wait? Are you pregnant?"

"Of course not, at least I think I am not but I have spent today wondering whether we should try."

Steve walked over to her placing his hands on her shoulders, "Are you sure?"

"I'm not entirely certain but growing up with a sibling did not do me any harm. Bucky was essentially your brother. I think all the problems we could face are stuff we can get through. Two kids is not easy but certainly easier than most of the stuff we have been through."

"Okay, let's do it. When should we start?"

Wanda thought about it, counting on her fingers, "We could start tonight."

"Really?"

"Biology Steve."


	4. O Holy Night

Chapter Four

_Fall on your knees!  
>Oh, hear the angel voices!<br>O night divine,  
>the night when Christ was born.<em>

_Josh Grobin – O Holy Night_

Steve could not help but laugh when he saw Wanda wrapped up in the bed covers, making her look like a marshmallow with a red nose. Wanda was sick with the flu. Her temperature was too high, her throat was sore, having chills, aching muscles and was constantly sneezing and coughing.

It was not so bad initially. Since she and Steve had moved into their own house, she would not have Tony pestering her and she already had one child doing that on a daily basis. However Wanda felt a little guilty for leaving Steve to essentially take care of her, the house, Evelyn and their three-month-old son James. If it were just Evelyn it would have been fine but as James needed a little more attention than the two-year-old, Steve would be bearing the brunt of tantrums.

"What?" she croaked.

"You just looked a little funny under the blanket."

"Nice to know my aliment is a source of amusement to you."

Steve got on the bed and pulled the covers off her, "Poor you."

"I don't really appreciate your sarcasm."

"I am not being sarcastic."

"Good or else I would have hex bolted you."

"Well, the doctor prescribed some antivirals so hopefully you'll be on the mend in a couple of days. We just need to keep you topped with fluids."

"If you do that then my bladder is not going to cope. That son of yours may have permanently damaged my bladder."

Steve smiled, "Why is he my son when he causes you pain?"

"It just works like that."

"Logical."

"It is logical when you think about it."

"Well, you have at least maintained a sense of humour."

"Who says I was joking?" Wanda smiled but sighed. "I'm sorry."

"What for?"

"Complaining about being ill especially as you have suffered with worse aliments."

"Hey, don't worry about it. You get used to it after about the twelfth bout of flu."

"Still, it would have more than likely hurt you more than it will hurt me."

"It did. I am surprised I lived as far as I did."

"I'm glad you did."

-o-

Wanda was not any better by the next evening. If anything she was worse. The antivirals had given her stomach cramps then the painkillers had made her somewhat delirious. The only thing she could concentrate on was the 2005 and 2010 _Doctor Who_ Christmas Specials and _Love Actually_. Reading was giving her a headache due to the straining of her eyes.

It was probably later that afternoon that Steve made an announcement that he was taking Evelyn and James to the carol service at the local church. Wanda said it was fine as long as he took James's pacifier to keep him settled and if Evelyn got fussy, there should be a crèche.

Steve still went to church every Sunday, it gave him some space to think in quiet. Think about his parents, Bucky, Dr Erskine, Peggy, Howard, Colonel Phillips, and the Howling Commandos. Think about Wanda and kids, Pietro and Luna, and the other members of the team. He was grateful to every one of them for making his life bearable despite the constant trauma.

The church was not massive, made of stone and had the wooden pews with the fabric on to make them comfortable. There was the stand for the minister to speak from and a small box for the choir. Behind that box there was a memorial with all the names of soldiers in the parish who died during the American Civil War, the First World War and the Second World War. Not many, but enough to strike a chord with Steve. Mainly because it was the church he went to as a child so he knew a couple of those names. Bucky was among them as was two boys from the orphanage. More harrowingly, Steve's name was among them as well.

"I see you have brought two guests with you," Mrs McDermott said approaching Steve. She was one of the neighbours and lived in the house opposite.

"Yeah, Wanda is not feeling too well so I thought it would be good to bring them along," Steve explained. "Flu."

"Oh, do wish her well from me."

"Will do."

"And I cannot believe how much Evelyn has grown."

"Think of it this way, it still feels like yesterday that she was born. The both of them. Even James has grown a lot in three months."

"Though I have to say he looks rather cute in his little outfit."

"Wanda picked it out." The infant was wearing a t-shirt with red braces and a pair of grey trousers and a black bow tie that stuck onto the shirt. "You would be shocked that she never did it to Evelyn."

"Daddy, I t'ink the man with the beard wa't we to sit down," Evelyn said pointing to the minister.

"Okay, let's sit down then."

Once Steve had sat near the back with Evelyn on his lap and James asleep in the car seat beside him.

"Welcome to you all on this night of peace, song and togetherness," the minister began. "Tonight's carols and hymns are inside the pamphlet as well as listed on the board behind me. Before the proceedings begin, let us take a moment in prayer."

Evelyn watched as her father and the other people around her bowed their heads, so her mind processed that is what she was supposed to do but she did not know why.

"Heavenly Father, thank you for sending your Son to earth as a baby so many years ago. Thank you that He paid the punishment for my sins by dying on the cross. And thank you that He rose again to prove that death was truly defeated. I place my trust in You to be my Saviour. Guide me through the dark times of my life and give me courage to live for You. Amen." The congregation repeated the final word and the choir stood up.

_"__Angels we have heard on high…"_

"I miss Mommy," Evelyn declared quietly.

"I know, but remember when you were feeling poorly not too long ago?" Evelyn nodded. "Well, Mommy feels the same way. She just needs some rest and peace."

"Will she be okay for Christmas?"

"Yeah, don't worry. She'll be fine by the end of the week."

"I w'nt her to give me a hug."

"She will soon. In the meantime, would you settle for Daddy's hugs?" Evelyn nodded wrapping her arms around her father's torso. "Would you share the hug with James?"

"Maybe."

-o-

Back at the house, Wanda was woken up by the sound of the doorbell ringing. Assuming it was carol singers, she decided to ignore it. It was only when her phone on the bedside table rang that she groaned, "This better be good."

_"__I take it you are still ill," _commented Jane down the phone.

"Why are you calling me?"

_"__I'm outside your front door."_

"Why?"

_"__I was passing by and I thought that I would drop the presents."_

"Okay, just let me try to get out of bed. I might be about ten minutes or so though." Wanda walked slowly down the stairs and to the front door.

"Wow, you look…" observed Jane.

"Like absolute câcat?"

"Yes. Whatever that means."

"You'd better come in out the cold."

"You have to forgive me if I have to keep my distance. It's not to do with you."

"Well that is nice to know."

"I have been doing it with the kids as well. Thanks to Tony, Evelyn has already had the flu and I am not putting that tiny body through it again."

"Well, I think I might have a solution for this."

"Is there some magical Asgardian cure for the flu?"

"No. The laboratory I work for has a biohazard section so I just borrowed something. Well, when I say borrowed, you cannot reuse them."

"They are not sanitary pads are they?"

-o-

About fifteen minutes before the end of the service, James started getting restless. Evelyn had decided to be on her best behaviour and was mostly quiet throughout the service but James tended to be rather cranky when he woke up so Steve decided to slip out into the crèche area so he could settle his son.

Once settled, Steve thought it would be a good idea leave straight away as it was more than likely James would need feeding and he had not bought an extra bottle. Evelyn was also getting sleepy. At least he had the capability to carry a toddler and a car seat half a block.

"We're back," he declared.

"I'm in here." Wanda's voice seemed to be muffled somewhat but it came from the living room.

"Why are you out of bed?"

"Jane came over to drop the presents off."

"Oh. Well, I think James is hungry so I am going to prepare a bottle."

"You can hand him to me while you are doing it." Steve walked into the living room and found Wanda with a surgical mask over her face. "Wanda, what are you wearing?"

"It's to stop the germs from spreading."

"Mommy!" Evelyn exclaimed running over to her mother.

"Hey baby, did you have fun at the carol service?" Wanda opened her arms and gave Evelyn a hug. Evelyn nodded and asked to be lifted up onto Wanda's lap. "I thought you were handing James over to me? I've cleaned my hands."

Steve gently handed James to Wanda, "Here we go."

"Hey, you put him in the outfit I picked out for him. He looks so cute."

"A bow," Evelyn pointed to the bow on her brother's shirt.

"Yeah a bow."

"Well, you are clearly better," Steve felt her head.

"Nah, I'm just happy to see the kids again."

"We learned a dance in sc'ool yesterday," Evelyn declared.

"Oh right," Wanda responded. "What to?"

"I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas," answered Steve. He opened the laptop on the coffee table, typed the song into YouTube and the lyrics blared through the speakers.

"_I want a hippopotamus for Christmas, only a hippopotamus will do."_

Evelyn jumped off Wanda's lap and started to sing and dance along with no real coordination. Steve could see through the lines by Wanda's eyes that she was laughing. As well, she was rocking James a little, almost making him dance along. James was not entirely sure what was going on but smiled anyway.

"This song is ridiculous," said Wanda.

"It's Christmas, everything is ridiculous."


	5. Santa Claus is Coming to Town

Chapter Five

_You better watch out,  
><em>_You better not cry,  
><em>_Better not pout,  
><em>_I'm telling you why.  
><em>_Santa Claus is coming to town._

_Frank Sinatra – Santa Claus is Coming to Town_

When Thor decided to live on Earth, Christmas seemed such a strange concept. As the years went on he fully embraced the colourful lights, the songs, and especially the food. Santa had barely entered the equation as no one had children yet. Yet when he heard Tony ask Luna what she wanted from Santa, it baffled him. Who was this Santa? What was his purpose? He vaguely remembered Darcy getting excited when the Christmas Coca Cola® commercial was on television as she declared that Christmas had begun and she played 'Santa Claus is coming to town'.

"He's a magic being who lives in the North Pole and brings toys made by elves to children around the world," Darcy explained the first time.

"Only he is not real. It's just something we tell children to ensure they behave," Jane had added.

"He is making a list after all."

"A list of what?"

"Naughty and nice children."

It was just a strange concept: lying to children to make them behave. It seemed rather counterproductive. It was not until Jane fell pregnant that the concept really began to bother Thor.

Wanda said it was just a myth the same as Theseus and the Minotaur; Tony called it the equivalent to bribing children for good behaviour; everyone else thought it was harmless. A search on the internet for answers did not help as one article said it was barbaric while another said it was just a harmless white lie and that children will mostly find out by themselves. One section concerned him the most saying that lying would erode the trust children have with their parents.

"I would not worry about it too much," Darcy said when Thor shared his concern with her. "Kids tend to figure it out by the time they are ten. My mother used to say that she wrapped up an empty box so Santa could magically put the presents in."

"Are you not just setting the child up for disappointment when they discover he is not real? Is it not fair to tell them the truth from the beginning?"

"Well… You might have a point. I mean obviously it can result in a kid resenting their parents for lying to them, though I have not heard that to happen. It is pretty heavy stuff to have sink in."

"You are not exactly giving me hope."

"Hold on a second. I need to consult the internet. While I am doing it though, I should point out that Santa is a rather late tradition in Christmas celebrations."

"Stark said that it was do with commercialism."

"Yeah that is pretty much it. Santa's other name is Saint Nicholas and thanks to Coca Cola® he is the reason he looks like your father. Only without the eye patch and the massive spear. And wears red."

"Can you remember how you felt when you discovered the truth?"

"Well, I found out when I was nine. Obviously there is the disappointment and the feeling of betrayal-"

"You still are not giving me hope."

"Let me finish. However, I was kind of okay with it. I mean I kind of suspected it for a couple of years so it did not exactly hurt. It is not exactly a malicious lie. In fact it does allow the parents to make up some stuff up depending on their circumstances."

"But?"

"But nothing. As an adult, we have to face uncomfortable truths. Adultery, taxes, politicians, health insurance. We all have to face a time where our perception of reality changes. You are living proof of that."

"I am?"

"You are from another realm. You are essentially proof that science was right."

"What does that have to do with lying about Santa?"

"Logically, it is the first time where a person's perception of reality comes into question but it at least something that is not going to ruin a person's life. Unless you are one of those sensitive children then it is essentially the end of the world. Christmas time can be the hardest time of the year for parents of young kids. An imaginary man who uses toys to persuade kids to listen to their parents who are in a weakened, stressed state is a very good tool to have. It's up to you and Jane however if you want to use that tool. Whether or not it is a cheap attempt to make kids behave. Does that help you at all?"

"I am not entirely certain."

"It is not the end of the world and many parents do it without the repercussions. Kids are more resilient these days so there is nothing to worry about."

"Do you really think that?"

"Yeah. Besides, it's only May, you do not have to worry for a few months yet. Or years in theory."


	6. All I Want for Christmas is You

Chapter Six

_I don't want a lot for Christmas,  
>There is just one thing I need.<br>I don't care about the presents  
>Underneath the Christmas tree.<br>I just want you for my own,  
>More than you could ever know.<br>Make my wish come true;  
>All I want for Christmas is you.<em>

_Mariah Carey – All I Want for Christmas is You_

Babies popped up over the next eighteen months which caused people around S.H.I.E.L.D to think there was something in the water

Firstly Thor and Jane had a boy called Alexander. Bruce had adopted a girl named Marie from his volunteering in Africa. Wanda and Steve had their third and last baby Rosie. More unexpectedly, Tony and Pepper fell pregnant with fraternal twin boys, Jack and Daniel.

Tony clearly knew what he was getting the babies for Christmas. Pepper was the problem. What do you get for a new mother? It was over brunch with Steve that the topic really began to freak him out.

"Have you even got her a push present?" asked Steve.

"Wait is that _actually _a thing?" Tony replied.

"Well, I bought her a necklace with Evelyn's name and her birthstone. James was a designer bag and Rosie resulted in me booking a vacation to Rome as a second honeymoon."

"I gave her my seed to produce the children. Is that not enough?"

"It depends on the woman and the man. Wanda did not ask for the gifts but I wanted to show how proud I was on her and that I loved her."

"I love Pepper and I am completely proud of her. Hence why I have this problem."

"I think we need to call a conference."

-o-

"Okay, welcome to the first meeting of the AFA, and I need help," Tony said standing up in front of Steve, Bruce, Thor and Pietro.

"AFA?" asked Pietro.

"Avengers Fathers Association," Steve answered.

"This is not actually going to be a thing is it?" asked Bruce.

"We will occasionally be having meetings to discuss issues relating to kids and wives," Tony explained. "Basically, I need an idea for Pepper's Christmas present. What do you suggest? What do you get for a new mom?"

"A necklace?" Thor suggested.

"Is that a suggestion or a question?"

"A necklace," Thor suggested more firmly.

"Okay, one suggestion."

"Family vacation to a place Pepper has always wanted to go," was Pietro's proposition.

"Okay good."

"You could just treat her like a normal woman. Just because she pushed babies out does not mean she is her own woman anyone," Bruce commented.

"That is a fair point," Steve said.

"Coming from the person who decided to give push presents despite his wife not needing them," Tony responded.

"That is actually a thing?" asked Pietro.

"Yes," Thor answered.

"Okay, the push present is not the point and yes I should be treating Pepper as a woman. I think that is a part of the problem, it is not easy. Once things have been stretched -"

"Okay, that is enough!" Bruce said.

"Honestly I do think Pep is struggling with the post-baby body though. Two days ago she asked me what shirt she should wear to work. There was a green shirt and a white one. I said the green because I thought a little colour would not hurt. She said that she would look like a golf course."

"Yeah, we're just men," said Pietro. "We are not supposed to understand the psychology of women."

"Did you even reassure her?" asked Bruce.

"Yes. I said that there is nothing wrong. It just went through one ear and out the other."

"That is peculiar, it is usually the other way around," Thor commented.

"Funny. She then proceeded to tell me I was no help."

"I don't really know what to suggest," said Steve. "Wanda did not push two babies out within the space of ten minutes."

It was then Pietro had a eureka moment, "Maybe a trip to the spa while you look after Daniel and Jack for the day?"

"Road Runner that might be one of the best ideas you have come up with!" Tony exclaimed.

"It's the only good idea I have ever come up with."

"Lingerie," Thor stated.

"Lingerie?" Bruce questioned.

"While you were having your conversation, I took the liberty of asking Darcy for her advice and she suggested lingerie."

"You know that might be a good suggestion."

"It is a very good suggestion," said Tony. "That's it, I send her to a spa for the day and buy her some lingerie while she's gone."

"Alternatively, you could give her the lingerie and spa tickets at the same time," said Bruce.

"That might be a better idea."

-o-

"Are you sure it is really a wise idea for you to bring your infant sons to a lingerie store when the paparazzi might be around?" asked Steve.

"I'm in sunglasses, hat and giant scarf. I'm wearing more layers that an Inuit," Tony insisted pushing the twin stroller into the lingerie store. "Plus they are asleep and have the memories of goldfish."

"Ah, gentlemen," the sales assistant said approaching the pair. "What can I do for you?"

"Okay, long story short, my wife had twins six months ago and she has been feeling somewhat unattractive. Have you got anything that might help us?" Tony asked.

"I think we might have something for a new mother. Do you know what size she is?"

"Um… In all honesty, the only thing I know about bras is how to undo them and I spent most of the age of seventeen figuring it out."

"Well, would you say they are apples or melons?"

Tony gave this some real thought. They were apples before she fell pregnant. He had not really checked since she fell pregnant due to the sensitivity. He looked for Steve for some help but found him looking at see-through bras.

"Um… I cannot really tell. These guys have had more action on the boobs in the last six months than I have in the last year. Visually, I am thinking grapefruit though that might just be wishful-thinking."

"This is the weirdest conversation I have ever overheard," Steve thought.

"I think I might have an idea of what type of underwear you are looking for," said the shop assistant who started pick out some bras and panties.

"Have you found anything?" asked Steve.

"We will have to see what she comes up with."

"I don't have to offer an opinion do I?"

"Absolutely not."

-o-

Christmas came the following week with the twins getting a lot more toys that Pepper anticipated. Once they were down for a nap, Tony swooped in with his gift.

"What is this?" asked Pepper sitting down in front of the tree.

"I just thought you could do with something nice because I love you."

"Aww, you can be really adorable when you want to be," Pepper stated opening the card on top of the box. "Two tickets to a spa?"

"I just thought you could have some time to yourself and someone else while I take care of the boys."

"Oh honey. This could be the best present you could have given me."

"Yeah, I put a lot of thought into that present."

"Though I am wondering what is in this box."

"Believe me when I say this was the more difficult to obtain."

Pepper opened the box and pulled out a blue lace bra, "Okay. This is a little unexpected."

"Yeah, it was Thor's suggestion that he repeated verbatim from Darcy. It's a three piece. The bra, the night dress and a tanga whatever the hell that is."

"Aside from the suggestion, why did you buy me lingerie?"

"I just … I… You have been worrying a lot about how you clothes have not really been fitting you since having Jack and Daniel so I just thought I would make a point about how you are still attractive to me… I guess."

"It is more of an annoyance than me worrying. It's just inconvenient that I have to still wear maternity clothes, it does not mean I am unhappy with how my body looks."

"Oh. With hindsight I should have asked how you were feeling."

"Probably, but it was a sweet gesture nonetheless." Pepper leaned into kiss him and Tony leaned in as well. "I don't think Bruce, Clint or Natasha are coming for another two or so hours and I don't think the boys need feeding for a while so…" Pepper lay down and Tony climbed on top of her kissing her firmly.

"Um… Pep," he murmured against his lips.

"Yeah?"

"I'm not sure I feel comfortable having sex in front of the Tickle-me Elmo. I feel like we are destroying our children's innocence." Tony climbed off her picking up the box.

"Hmm. You could just take me to the bedroom."

"Yeah that is a better idea," he said lifting Pepper up.


	7. It's Cold Outside

Chapter Seven

_I really can't stay,  
><em>_(But baby it's cold outside).  
><em>_I've got to go away,  
><em>_(But baby it's cold outside).  
><em>_This evening has been so very nice,  
>(I'll hold your hands, they're just like ice). <em>

_Zooey Deschanel and Leon Redbone – It's Cold Outside_

Darcy swore she was close to breaking point with all the cookies she was baking. She really did not enjoy baking but she had promised her friend she would for a baby shower. Well, it was more as though she was forced to make the cookies. At least the ovens in the Tower were big enough to put loads of trays in at once.

By the end of the sixth batch, she had given up and started eating the cookie dough, the only benefit of all this baking.

"Is that really wise to eat the raw egg?" Natasha asked coming into the kitchen.

"If it means I can get out of this baby shower, it might be worth it."

"You could have just made a diaper cake."

"I did it for Jane's and that one was difficult enough. This is just for the snacks. I'm getting her a new-born clothes set."

"Good choice, certainly better than when I allowed Barton to get my present to Wanda for baby number one. Somehow that mini-crib was a lot pinker than we remembered. He got way too overconfident in that betting pool."

"Didn't he win that one?"

"Yes but really he should have gotten the gender neutral. I would have liked to have seen his face had Evelyn turned out to be a boy."

"He's a good guy. Not bad looking either."

"He's also old enough to be your father."

"Well, I am surprised you two have never gotten together."

"We're too similar. Granted it would be convenient not to lie to a man about what I actually do but we could never settle into a domestic life together. Certainly not the suburban house, two point four kids and the white picket fence."

"Everyone is entitled to some form of happiness."

"I am happy. You can be happy without romance you know.

"Hmm… I suppose."

"I suppose what?" asked Clint walking in.

"Nothing that concerns you," Natasha answered. Clint shrugged and went to the coffee pot. Rather than putting the contents into another cup, he drank it straight out of the pot. "Really? Is it that much effort to put it into another mug?"

"I need to leave in two minutes. I smell cookies."

"Well you are not having any," Darcy declared.

"Why not?"

"They are for a baby shower and I am not making any more. You are more than welcome to eat the rest of that cookie dough."

"That will do," Clint said heading straight for the bowl. Darcy just about saw a smile twitch at the corners of Natasha's mouth, and suddenly came up with an idea. She needed help however, but who?

-o-

"Darcy, what ever happened to letting bygones be bygones?" Bruce asked Darcy when she had pitched her idea to him.

"Oh come on. You know as well as I do that those two belong together. It is pretty clear that they want to be more than friends."

"I know but as I said, rather than interfering – and probably get killed by Natasha as a result – we should just let them get together at their own pace."

"Please? All I need you to do is set Agent Barton up on a date… Only for him to be stood up."

"Again, we are talking about two master assassins here. I've seen these two in action. One can gouge my eyes out with his arrow and the other could gut me with the same arrow."

"You can turn into a giant green monster and flatten them you wuss."

"You are not going to leave until I agree to this are you?"

-o-

Darcy had set Natasha up on a date with a guy that Darcy had previously been on a date with and the guy was possibly the worst date that Darcy had been on. So it was perfect for setting Natasha up on this date to help persuade her in the right direction. And that push was called Jake Chipington.

"So what sort of career do you have? Nursing? Beautician? Air stewardess?" asked Jake.

"Actually, I am a CEO of a highly successful, multi-billion dollar weapons development company with a graduate degree in business and economics degree from Harvard Business School," Natasha lied but said with such conviction that it had taken the young man back. "What do you do Jake?"

"I work at a movie theatre."

"Oh great," Natasha thought.

"I clean up after the movie has finished. I get to see loads of cool movies before everyone else."

"And many times after that," Natasha commented dryly grabbing her wine.

"Not a movie fan?"

"I like movies but I am still not one for actually sitting down and watching twenty in a row like some people I know. I have friends who have watched all the extended cuts of _The Lord of the Rings _and _Hobbit_ movies."

"They're awesome aren't they!"

"The movies are fine albeit longer than they should be." Natasha took a larger sip of wine and looked at her phone, checking to see how long she should take before she bailed. "So, Jake. That is an interesting t-shirt you are wearing."

"Yeah my mother bought it."

"I think we're going need more wine."

-o-

"You know this date you set me up on, did you tell her to meet me at this particular restaurant?" Clint asked Bruce down the phone.

"Yeah… Of course I did," Bruce answered nervously. "Has she not turned up yet?"

"Why would I be calling you if she had?"

"That is a good point. Try waiting it out, she may just be running late."

"Running late my ass," Clint thought before hanging up.

"Oh god he is going to kill me," Bruce thought. "He is going to shove one of his explosive arrows down my throat-"

"You do know you are speaking out loud right?" Tony asked.

Meanwhile, the waiter in the restaurant that Clint was at came up to him, "Um sir. It's been an hour and I do not think your date is going to arrive anytime soon."

"Yeah, I kind of figured that out for myself."

"For what it is worth, we can give you some free pizza."

"Would that be a whole pizza or just a slice?"

"We'll see how long you last."

-o-

"So when the lights came back on, we found the woman on her knees –"

"I think I may have the picture," Natasha interrupted before Jake could finish his story about what the most interesting thing he had seen at the cinema he worked in (Natasha meant film and she was secretly chastising herself for not specifying that).

"Cool story right?"

"If you say so. So are you working at the theatre as a means of saving for college or something like that?"

"No way. College is a waste of money. What is the point?"

"To get a better job?"

"Why would I want a better job when I am working at a movie theatre?"

Natasha sighed and called the waiter, "Can we have the bill please?"

"So soon?" the waiter asked confused. He then looked at Jake and nodded.

"I just remembered I had a big meeting tomorrow first thing so I need to get some sleep."

"Oh," Jake commented. "I thought we were having a good time."

"If you could call it a good time," Natasha commented.

-o-

"I have literally been on the worst date possible," Natasha declared when she entered the lounge of the Avengers Tower. The only person who was there to listen to her was Clint, though he was in the middle of switching his hearing aids from the small ones that were embedded in the ear canal to the larger, more comfortable ones that were exposed.

"Did you get stood up as well? I got pizza because of it."

"I think that would have actually make it ten times better." Natasha went behind the bar to find some of Tony's vodka stash.

"How bad?"

"The guy still has his mother buying his clothes. He is about Darcy's age."

"Wait so did they guy ask you out?"

"No, Darcy set me up with him."

"Funny, Banner set me up on a date but she was a no show."

"Huh, strange. We both get set up on crappy dates on the exact same night. Sounds like they were pulling some sort of practical joke and not a very funny one."

"Yeah a little too strange," Clint narrowed his forehead suspiciously. "I think we may need to have a word with those two."

"I think a word may not be the way to approach this."

"What do you suggest?"

"Vodka first."

-o-

"WHAT THE HELL!" Darcy yelled when she found her bedroom covered in Justin Bieber posters and JARVIS playing 'Mistletoe' and by the sound of it, it looked to be only in her room. "JARVIS can you turn that crap off!"

"I do apologise Ms Lewis, but I am under strict orders to keep playing this for twenty-four hours."

"How long left?"

"Twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes."

"Are you kidding me? Who put you up to this? Stark?"

"He may have helped."

"Right, no more Miss Nice Girl."

In the meantime, Bruce had been given a similar treatment, only he got 'The Christmas Shoes' over JARVIS's sound system.

"You know what, I think I would prefer being stabbed in the eye with the arrow and then being gutted with the same arrow."

"Dr Banner, Agent Barton and Agent Romanoff wish me to convey a message to you: schastlivogo Rozhdestva."

"What does that translate as?"

"Merry Christmas."

"Right," Bruce marched out of his room and to the kitchen where Natasha and Clint were drinking their coffee and looking as though they had no clue what was going on downstairs. "You assholes."

"I beg your pardon?" Natasha asked putting her coffee down.

"Whose idea was it?"

"I don't know you talking about," Clint answered.

"Is this some punishment for what Darcy put me up to? It was her idea."

"What was her idea?" asked Natasha.

"Okay, you two win. I'm sorry for trying to make people happy," Darcy announced entering the kitchen.

"What is with all the shouting it is seven thirty in the morning?" Jane asked following in. "Also why can I hear music coming from Dr Banner's room?"

"Yeah what is that?" asked Steve being followed in by Wanda and Thor.

"Right, long story short: I thought it would be a great idea to set those two up," Darcy began to explain pointing to Natasha and Clint, "on crappy dates so they would realise they are perfect for each other."

"She got me involved," Bruce added blankly.

After a moments silence, Natasha said to Wanda before leaving, "We'll let you explain."

Once she and Clint had left Wanda finally spoke, "You do know you that they have been sleeping together for years?"

"What?" asked Darcy and Bruce simultaneously.

"Wow, you two might be the only people in this whole tower not to have caught them having sex," said Jane.

"What?"

"Couch," said Jane.

"Back of the Mercedes," Steve added.

"Elevator," said Thor.

"Literally rolling around in the hay on the farm," said Wanda. "Pietro caught them on a sparring mat at S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Stark caught them in the meeting room, as did most of the Stark Industries board," Thor added.

"And Pepper found them in the supply closest," said Steve.

"How have we not noticed this?" asked Bruce.

"I don't know, they are not that subtle," Jane answered. "That and they need better places to have sex."


	8. Mary's Boy Child

Chapter Eight

_Hark, now hear the angels sing,  
>A king was born today.<br>And man will live for evermore,  
>Because of Christmas Day.<br>Mary's boy child, Jesus Christ,  
>Was born on Christmas Day.<em>

_Boney M – Mary's Boy Child._

Tony was wondering what Pepper was hiding.

Two days before Christmas, she had come home from work surprisingly happy. It was not as though she did not like working but since having the twins, she had been increasingly exhausted.

The response to him asking her why she was so happy was, "Got all the paperwork done so I don't have a massive pile to deal with after the holidays."

"Really?"

"Yes. Am I not allowed to be happy?"

"Of course you are. I just thought you would be tired after a long day."

"I am tired and I want a bath."

"Okay, if you say so." Pepper gave him a quick peck on the lips before leaving. "Your mom is acting weird."

"You always say that," Jack commented.

"I mean she is hiding something."

"You say that a lot too," said Daniel.

"Why did they have to inherit my smart mouth?" he thought.

-o-

_"__Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this fun, old-fashioned family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm holiday emergency here."_

"What are you watching?" Tony asked sitting on the bed.

"_National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation,_" Pepper answered writing some notes on a reporter's pad. "Boys asleep?"

"Eventually. I think we need to have a word with the nanny about them napping late. What are you writing?"

"Nothing, just a to-do list for Christmas Day."

"Cook turkey."

"Thank you Captain Obvious, now I know how I married you."

"Do you want me to check anything that you have missed off?"

"No, it is fine. I think I am done."

"So, where are the presents?"

"I am not telling you where they are Tony."

"It's just so I can put them by the tree."

"Really?"

"Of course."

"I'm not saying anything," Pepper smiled before putting the reporter's pad into the draw before locking it. Pepper snuggled up to Tony and rested her head on his chest. He smiled and while she had fallen sleep he continued watching the movie until the end.

However as Pepper had fallen asleep, Tony's curiosity was increasing. Pepper would usually allow him to put the gifts under the tree, so why not this year? However it was half eleven, he was tired. He had to keep two two-year-old boys busy the next day to tire them out. Sleep was more important at the moment.

-o-

Christmas morning dawned and Pepper had organised Tony's gifts in the order she wanted him to open.

While the twins were playing with their new toys, Pepper and Tony were opening their presents to each other. By the time Tony finished, he found a box that seemed very light.

"Pepper what is this?"

"Open it and you will find out." Tony squinted his eyes in confusion. Opening the box he found it full of straw and a small yellow egg decorated with white polka dots. If he was confused before he was now utterly bewildered. Underneath the egg there was a white sheet but he wondered what was in the egg before reading it. "You have to crack the egg open."

Doing what she said, he pushed his thumb firmly so the egg would crack. Inside there was a small piece of paper rolled up. Tony sighed and unrolled the paper. Then Tony's eyes became as wide as saucers. Pepper could only nod in confirmation.

"I…I…"

"Tony?"

"This is… fantastic."

"You are at least taking it much better than last time. For obvious reasons." Tony did not say much else and just kissed her. "There is actually a letter. I just thought since the last time was far from perfect, I thought I would try to make this as perfect as possible."

Tony unfolded the sheet and found a typed letter 'from' their baby,

_Dear Daddy_

_I would like to announce my impending long-term stay in your residence. Although my anticipated arrival is in September, my actual arrival may be unannounced, so please get ready for my visit ahead of time by preparing a comfy home with all the amenities, including bottles, diapers, plush toys and blankets. I look forward to being delivered on the expected date._

_Please take extra care of Mommy, Do whatever she says and never leave her hungry. When she's hungry, I am hungry. _

_It's so cosy in Mommy's tummy but keep patting it and talking to me every day. I like hearing Daddy's voice. _

_Yours truly, _

_Baby Stark_


	9. River

Chapter Nine

_It's coming on Christmas,  
>They're cutting down trees.<br>They're putting up reindeer,  
>And singing songs of joy and peace;<br>Oh, I wish I had a river I could skate away on._

_Joni Mitchell – River _

Sleep had come much easier to Wanda over the years. It was no longer a luxury. Maybe it had come in parallel to becoming a mother and working full time.

A few nights before Christmas, however, Wanda could not sleep at all. She had woken up in the middle of the night from a nightmare and could not fall back asleep. Since the family were staying with Tony and Pepper for the Holidays, Wanda found herself wondering around the tower eventually settling in the workshop.

It looked as though Tony was tinkering with the Iron Man suit. He only had the two, and the only time he really built a new suit was to upgrade War Machine. He had not really needed the suit in the last few years but kept it around as there was always a possibility for trouble.

"Cannot sleep?" someone asked behind her and she dropped the spanner on the table almost guilty.

"You scared the wits out of me there Tony," she exclaimed. Tony had come down with baby Avery and a bottle of milk. "How did you even know I was in here?"

"JARVIS."

"Of course. I take it that you are on night-feeds?"

"No I was already awake. Thought I'd save Pep the struggle of getting up. What are you doing?"

"Nothing just wondering aimlessly. What are you doing with the suit?"

"Just some reconfiguration. Though I am not entirely sure I should be feeding my infant daughter in the workshop."

"To be fair, how far can a five-month-old reach. I could do with some tea actually so it might be best to go into the kitchen."

"Well, once I have fed her, I can cook you something."

"I'll just stick with the tea."

"Have you ever had breakfast for supper?"

"I gave up meat years ago."

"I'm sure we have some cardboard in the freezer."

"Funny."

-o-

"Okay, one vegetarian kosher breakfast for supper," Tony said presenting the plate to Wanda, who looked as though she expected it to be awful.

"Thanks," Wanda said cutting into the vegetarian sausage. "Wow, you can actually cook something without burning into cinders."

"Well, I just read the packet. You know if Christmas meals came pre-packed, I don't think I would have much of a problem."

"Poor rich boy not learning how to cook."

"Well, I had more pressing matters."

"Like what? Sleeping with any bimbo who really only cared about your money?"

"Pretty much."

"It is nice that you have settled down. When we met I never thought you would be taking the night feeds."

"It saves me from tinkering."

"Do you still have the panic attacks?" Wanda asked quite bluntly.

"The odd occasion I will still think about New York. Ultron. Thanos. Everything else that nearly got me killed."

"Like tonight?"

"Yeah."

"You are not the only one. It's been twelve years, and I can still feel that hand crushing that bone in my leg."

"I can still feel the burn." Wanda looked beside his left eye. Getting too close to the flame had caused a scar that had faded slightly over the years. "I can still feel myself losing oxygen. I can still picture Pepper falling into a flaming abyss. I see the sight of Barton's charred unconscious body with that blood coming out of his ear."

"Stuff the tea, I need alcohol."

"Well, I can offer you some vodka."

"That will do." Tony went to the fridge and grabbed the bottle of vodka and two glasses. "Do you ever regret getting rid of the arch reactor?"

"No."

"You do sound confident about that."

"Running around with shrapnel in your chest is not as fun as it sounds. Also I sleep better without the glowing light."

"Try having so much going on in your head that half the time it feels as though it is going to explode. Granted I have better control but I end up having to scream into a pillow some days. Stress does me no good."

"Rogers know about this?"

Wanda shook her head, "He worries about me enough as it is. What he does not know cannot hurt him."

"Hurts you though."

"Do you tell Pepper everything?"

"Not entirely."

"It is the pot calling the kettle black I think."

"I have a feeling we are going to end up being therapy buddies."

"Well, we have not spent much time together. Aside from losing Luna in a store, the cheesecake incident and the handcuffs –"

"That we are never discussing again."

"At least we can bond over our rubbish childhoods."

"It's a good thing that we never got together or else we would end up severely depressed and kill each other."

"Yeah probably. That or your sarcasm would drive me insane."

"I could see that happening."


	10. Little Drummer Boy

Chapter Ten

_Come they told me, pa rum pum pum pum,  
>A new born King to see, pa rum pum pum pum,<br>Our finest gifts we bring, pa rum pum pum pum,  
>To lay before the King, pa rum pum pum pum,<br>rum pum pum pum, rum pum pum pum. _

_Bing Crosby and David Bowie – The Little Drummer Boy_

'Twas two nights before Christmas, and there was no sound to be heard in the Tower. Mainly because all sound had been drowned out by Natasha's yells of agony.

Especially the sound of Bruce's (who was making some tea at the time) voice, "Natasha, where does it hurt?"

"My stomach." Other than the look of pain, Natasha looked sweaty and hot and quite close to throwing up.

"I think you need to go to the hospital. It could be something serious."

"Yeah, good plan."

"Should I call Barton or…"

"He's on a mission. No way of contacting him unless it is through S.H.I.E.L.D."

"Crap. Okay, I'll grab the car keys. JARVIS, can you leave a message that we've gone to the nearest hospital."

"Certainly."

"Okay, Natasha. Let's go."

-o-

A good hour or so later - and Bruce getting frustrated with the triage nurse for not taking them seriously and Natasha losing all dignity by wetting herself due to the pain – the doctors had run some tests and finally were running an ultrasound on Natasha's stomach.

Bruce, on the other hand, was running all potential diagnosis through his head: appendicitis, stomach tumour, extreme food poisoning?

That was until they heard a rhythm coming from the machine; More specifically, a rhythm of a heartbeat.

"Please tell me that is my own heartbeat," Natasha stated, almost expecting what the doctor was going to say.

"Miss Romanoff, you appear to be pregnant, and from the size of your baby… you are just about term."

"What!" said both Bruce and Natasha simultaneously.

"Thirty-six weeks and six days to be precise; also the pain you are feeling are contractions and your waters have broken."

"I… I cannot be. I had stuff done to me when I was a teenager. I cannot get pregnant," Natasha insisted.

"Well, I would suggest buying lottery tickets. We need to get you to delivery now. I would think you want the father in the room."

"I'm… I'm not the father," Bruce answered.

"Trust us when we say he is not the father," Natasha added. "Though you are not leaving me."

"Yeah, like I am going to let you do this on your own."

-o-

"Is someone going to tell me what the hell is wrong with our friend?" Steve asked getting annoyed at the nurses.

"Hey," Tony poked Steve in the shoulder when he saw Bruce come out of an elevator. "Banner, what is going on? J said you and Romanoff had gone to the hospital."

Bruce tried to come up with the best explanation but decided just to jump to the end, "Natasha has given birth."

"Wait? This is not her annual Christmas prank, because that's a little messed up."

"I don't think even Natasha could come with a prank that twisted," Steve commented.

"It's not a prank. As Steve said, Natasha is not that twisted," Bruce answered.

"Wait, so she was pregnant?" asked Steve.

"And she was completely oblivious. She had no symptoms and barely any weight gain."

"Is she okay?"

"Well, she is in a bit of shock but mostly she is fine. Some blood loss but they fixed her up pretty good."

"And the baby?"

"It's a boy. However the doctors want to keep an eye on him because he was a little underweight. That said, he does have a pair of lungs on him. Just like mom."

"Wait… So let me get this straight? Romanoff has been pregnant for the last nine months, she had no clue or suspicion that she could be pregnant, only found out eight hours ago, and she now has a son?" Tony asked trying to get a clearer picture.

"That just about covers it."

"I think we need to get Fury to extract Barton from that mission. Like right now," said Steve.

"That would be an idea. I'll do it, just make sure Romanoff is okay," said Tony grabbing his phone. "Yeah Fury…"

In the meantime, Bruce had gone to get some coffee and Steve had gone to the hospital room to see Natasha, who was just staring in confusion at the tiny human in the plastic cot.

"Hey," said Steve.

"I just had a baby," Natasha replied still looking confused.

"Yeah, I can see that. He looks pretty cute."

"How could I have not noticed? I drank a lot of alcohol."

"He does not look as though he has any alcohol poisoning," the nurse said. "He's a tough little thing."

"I have a baby…" said Natasha.

"What are you going to do?" asked Steve. "I mean, you had no time to adjust to having a baby. Are you going to keep him, or are you going to put him up for adoption?"

"I do not know. I want Barton here, he should be here."

"Stark is working on it. Granted it may take a while. You should get some rest."

"How… How did you feel when you became a father the first time?"

"Honestly, overwhelmed. I had this tiny baby girl who would depend on me. She was the most beautiful and precious thing I would ever have, and I knew that I would die or kill for her at a seconds notice."

Natasha looked down at the baby and gulped. She was still in complete shock, and she did fear Clint's reaction a little. Not that she thought he never wanted kids but she doubted he would like not having obligations in his personal life to being a father with no warning.

Granted, the baby looked quite cute. Still a little mushed-faced but cute nonetheless, and Natasha felt a small smile forming on her lips.

-o-

Over the next day or so, the others managed to get some basics together for Natasha such as a cot, diapers, a changing mat, car seat, pushchair, and whatever spare baby clothes they had now that most of the kids had outgrown them.

Tony, after six or so hours, managed to get some sort of response from S.H.I.E.L.D; they had managed to get an extraction for Clint and he was on his way back to New York.

Natasha, in the meantime, had been resting and bonding with the baby. She had not come up with a name yet, mainly because she was not one-hundred percent on whether she wanted to keep him. She was at least eighty percent, which was better than zero, she supposed.

It was late in the afternoon of Christmas day when she was woken up by shouting, mainly Clint at the nurses.

"Look, I don't care if it is not visiting hours. I need to see her."

"Sir, please. There are patients trying to sleep."

"Let him in," Natasha said opening the door.

"Ms Romanoff, you should be resting."

"I said let him in. He's family, and I think the rules say it is okay for family to stay beyond visiting hours." The nurse sighed and nodded. "Thank you."

Clint followed Natasha into the room, "Cheers for that Nat. I swear they don't understand urgency when they see it."

"Who S.H.I.E.L.D or the nurses?"

"Both. What is going on Nat? Fury seemed pretty insistent that I see you."

"It's a bit complicated to explain… Like, I am still trying to get my head around it," she said laying back on the bed.

"Please do not tell me it is cancer."

"It's not. Clint… We have a baby."

"Yeah right."

"I am serious. I have the stiches on my vagina and an actual baby to prove it."

"Wh… What? So… you were pregnant but never told me."

"I did not even know myself until I was pushing him out."

"Him? It's a boy?"

"Yeah. It's a boy."

"Can I see him?"

"He's due to feed in a moment; the nurses will bring him."

"Jesus, Natasha. How are you feeling?"

"I'm still in a little shocked. I'm extremely sore. I'm good though."

"Oh Jesus. I should have been here. You should have not have done it alone."

"It's fine. I had an equally surprised Banner with me. He seemed kind of amused that he was seeing a baby born from the other end."

"I suppose that is better than no one. What are we going to do Nat?"

"What do you want to do Clint? He's your child too."

"I have not even met him yet so I don't know."

"Ms Romanoff, I think someone is hungry or just wants a hug," the nurse announced coming into the room. Once the cot was left, Clint gulped.

"That's him. Our surprise early Christmas present," Natasha stated.

"Fuck…"

"Pretty much what I said."

"Can… Can I hold him?"

"Of course you can. He is your son."

Clint gently lifted the baby out of the cot, trying to support the head as much with his elbow, "He's tiny."

"He's fine though. That is the most important thing under the circumstances."

"I think he just wanted a hug by the looks of it. He's so cute."

"Yeah, I suppose he is."

"We could call him Michael. Unless you have named him already."

"I haven't. Why Michael though?"

"I don't know, I just like the name."

"Does this mean that you want to keep him?"

"Well, I've been in orphanages. Not the most pleasant of places, and it could take months to find a family."

"Fair point, however, are we even in the best position to raise a child?"

"Not even close, but if my father and Stark's rants about his father have taught me anything, it is not the circumstances that raises the child, it's the way the parent raises the child. So my answer to the first question would be … yes."

"Okay… We'll do it. We'll keep Michael."

"Michael … Joseph Christopher Romanoff-Barton?"

"That is way too many names for a small baby. I'm not entirely sure if he needs a middle name. The name is already extremely long."

"Okay, what about just Michael Joseph?"

"That sounds good," Natasha said. "Wait? Joseph Christopher? Did you want to add Jesus and Mary to that name? Mainly before the Joseph?"

"It's Christmas," Clint justified. Natasha shook her head but Clint managed to stop her by placing his lips against hers.


	11. We Three Kings

Chapter Eleven

_O Star of wonder, star of night,  
>Star with royal beauty bright.<br>Westward leading, still proceeding,  
>Guide us to thy Perfect Light.<em>

_The Celtic Women – We Three Kings_

"You have to wonder why they still do Nativity plays," Tony commented. "I have never understood how the birth of a fictional baby is considered to be the _Greatest Story Ever Told_. I have heard of better stories."

"Tony, this is not really the time. We have come to support James, Marie and Alex. We do not need to have a long discussion about this," Pepper said getting the twins out of the car while Tony dealt with Avery.

"Wow, you have been here for two seconds and you have already begun arguing," Steve commented.

"We're not arguing, I am just saying that there are better stories than a mother delivering a baby in a stable," Tony explained grabbing Daniel's hand as they walked into the school. "It's an opinion."

"It's as good as any," Wanda responded. "Ah, there is Bruce, Jane and Thor."

"Good evening, here are your programmes for this evening," the teacher said handing everyone a programme.

"Thank you. At least they saved use some seats. How many grades are there?" asked Pepper.

"It's a multi-production show. Load of grades," Jane answered.

"Do we have to stay for the whole thing?" asked Tony.

"Yes," answered Bruce.

"Alex is playing an octopus?" asked Steve sitting down with Evelyn next to him.

"I was confused as well," said Thor.

"How can an octopus be in the Nativity story?" Wanda asked as she sat with Rosie on her lap. "They wouldn't survive without water, and you would be more likely to find a shark than an octopus in the Red Sea."

"I think they were a little desperate with the amount to roles to fill that they decided science is irrelevant," Bruce explained.

"Well, as these are people responsible for our children's education they should at least make a production scientifically accurate," said Tony with Avery on his lap.

"Their kids, not ours," Pepper corrected as she placed Jack and Daniel in the seats in between them.

"James is a sheep. Who is Marie?" asked Wanda.

"The narrator slash Angel Gabriel," Bruce answered.

"I thought the Angel Gabriel was a man," Thor commented

"Well, Angel Gabriel is more commonly seen as a woman in theatrical productions of the birth of Christ, it seems like the school are following in traditions," Jane responded.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Nativity play by our third, fourth, fifth and sixth graders. Please make sure all phones are switched off and that there is no flash photography, thank you," one of the teachers said on the stage before they walked off behind the piano and started playing the tune to_ O' Little Town of Bethlehem_.

"There's Marie," Wanda whispered to Bruce, who pulled out his camcorder.

"In the land of Israel, in a town called Naz-e-rath, there was a lady called Mary, who was be-trotted to Joseph, a humble carpenter," Marie began her monologue while there was a brunette Mary in blue and a redheaded Joseph on the stage. The redheaded Joseph left the stage. "One day, Mary was left alone, when an angel of the Lord appeared before her…"

"She's doing well." whispered Jane.

"They are not going to make the kid enact a birth in front of their parents are they?" asked Tony in a whisper.

"I've read the script, it is fine," Steve said quietly.

"She looks about seven years old. It is possible that she does not know the birds and the bees yet," Pepper muttered.

"The what Mommy?" asked Jack.

"Never mind honey."

They watched as 'Mary' and 'Joseph' have an argument on stage while Thor grew more and more frustrated with the kid behind him kicking the back of his seat.

"This feels more like a night in for us on occasion," Wanda commented.

"Huh? I don't recall us having a conversation about you getting pregnant while still a virgin," Steve looked confused.

"What is a virgin?" asked Evelyn.

"Never mind Evelyn."

"Joseph. Fear not for I am an angel of the lord…" Marie projected to the audience.

"They really need a new script writer," whispered Jane. "We know she is an angel of the lord. It was stated about three times."

"It's an elementary school production Jane," said Wanda. "I don't think the writing is going to be Chekov standard."

"Thor are you okay there buddy, you look a little annoyed?" asked Steve.

"I seem to have someone kicking me in the back."

"It's just a kid. Keep it restrained," Bruce said. "Just be thankful it is not me they are kicking."

"Hey, can you shut up?" a man asked behind them in a loud whisper.

"If your daughter stops kicking me in the back then yes," Thor replied.

"I'm not doing anything," the girl said.

"Well you are either lying or doing it subconsciously," Wanda replied.

"Well he should move his big head," the girl snapped back at Wanda.

"Hey, don't you talk to my wife that way and don't speak about my friend like that either, said Steve.

"What are you going to do about it?"

"Kid, grow up," said Tony. Pepper shrunk in her seat to avoid the commotion. Bruce did the same.

"Don't you talk to my daughter that way." the girl's father said.

"Well, teach your daughter some manners first and then tell not to talk to her that way," said Jane.

"Are you questioning my parenting skills?"

"As a matter of fact -" Thor began before he heard shouting coming from the stage

"I KNOW YOU IDIOT!" Marie yelled at what looked to be one of the shepherds. The parents noticed a wide-eyed James and Alex while Bruce looked shocked.

"That wasn't in the script," Steve commented.

-o-

"Well, that had to be the most interesting Nativity show we have been to," said Tony when Steve handed him a scotch.

"Dad, were you embarrassed that I shouted and called Robbie-Joe an idiot?" asked Marie

"No, I just didn't expect the outburst sweetheart," answered Bruce.

"None of us were expecting it Marie. Why did you called Robbie-Joe an idiot anyway?" asked Pepper.

"He kept giving me the lines I already knew despite it being in the script that I should pause," she answered.

"Mom," Alex called. "I cannot get this costume off."

"Ok, let me grab the scissors because my father doesn't know where to find an octopus costume with a zip." Jane said putting her drink down and walking to the kitchen.

"Jane's father got the octopus costume?" asked Steve.

"Darcy tried to make it but she ran out of material on the third leg," Thor answered.

"That explains a lot," Wanda thought. "Well, hopefully next year's performance will involve less shouting. At least the girls' school does not have a production every Christmas."

"The boys' school does," Pepper responded.

"Yeah. More than likely the will end up as Thing One and Thing Two if it is _The Cat in the Hat_ next year," Tony said.

"Tony they are not even identical twins."

"Prosthetic makeup?"

"No."


	12. Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Chapter Twelve

_Hark the herald angels sing,  
>Glory to the new born king<br>Peace on Earth and mercy mild,  
>God and sinners, reconciled.<em>

"Are you going to help us with the tree?" asked Jane while Thor was messing around with the remote for the television.

"As soon as I have fixed the television."

"Thor, I unplugged the television so I could get the double plug from behind," Pepper explained. "I'll plug it back in a moment." Pepper stood back a second to check the tree was not lopsided. "Okay, I think we can start decorating."

"Where is all the tinsel?" asked Jane.

"I threw it out because Jack tried to eat it when he was one."

"What about the flock to make it look as though it has snowed on the tree?"

"Daniel tried to eat it."

"Did you get rid of the baubles in case Avery might eat them?"

"How is she going to get a whole bauble in her mouth?"

"Thor can you hand us the box?" asked Jane. Thor picked up the box nearest to him, only for the bottom of it to give way and a load of ordainments to crash onto the floor.

"What happened?" he asked.

"The box fell open," Jane answered looking at the mess on the floor. Among them, was the tree topper and Pepper froze.

"Oh no, please do not say the angel is broken," she said bending down to pick up the ceramic ordainment. The face was cracked and was broken in half.

"We could replace it. It does look very old," Thor suggested.

"What looks old?" Tony asked coming into the lounge.

"The decoration to top your tree."

"Is there anything wrong with it being old?"

"No."

"Why is there stuff all over the floor?"

"Um, the bottom of the box collapsed and they fell out," Jane explained.

"Including the angel," Pepper said showing him the broken angel.

"What?"

"Please do not freak out."

"It is my fault," Thor explained. "I picked up the box and the decorations fell out."

Turning pale, Tony walked back to the elevator, possibly down to the workshop.

"What was that about?" asked Jane.

"The angel belonged to his grandmother. This the last thing Tony inherited from his mother."

-o-

Thor found Tony in the workshop, however, not tinkering with any bit of machinery but staring into space. He did not look as though he had been crying but he was clearly not in the best of moods.

"I discovered the ordainment belong to your grandmother."

"And my mother. My first memories of that thing was when I was five. I think my grandmother had died only recently and my mother was upset. Dad did show his support but as per usual he kept himself busy with work. I was confused because Mom was rarely sad. Later, she told me that my grandmother had no plans to put up a Christmas tree as she was very ill by that point. Two weeks later my grandmother was dead and every time my mother got the angel out, she cried. You could call it a Christmas tradition."

"So why do you keep an item that brings you memories of sadness?"

"My parents' death was so abrupt my mother never got a chance to write a formal will. Thankfully, my father said that any possession of my mother became mine. In the box there was a load of jewellery, some family photos and the angel. It is the only item that I have to remember her."

"I am truly sorry. I should have picked the box up while holding the bottom."

Tony sighed, "Don't give yourself nightmares over it. It could have happened to anyone. It is not your fault. You have not deprived the kids of any inheritance. All three get an equal share of the company when Pep and I are gone, among other things."

"That is not so terrible."

"Yeah."

While Tony had insisted it was not his fault, Thor still felt bad for breaking something that carried such sentimental value. He thought of ways to make it up to Tony but how does one make it up for breaking a family heirloom

-o-

The next couple of days went by and while Tony put on a brave face for the kids so it did not ruin Christmas. It did still sting that there was an empty space on the top of the tree, but the nagging in his head that sounded suspiciously like his father was telling him that he should not be sulking over a broken toy.

By the time Christmas Eve came around, the broken ordainment seemed to be a distant memory. Tony had been occupying himself by putting two bikes together for Jack and Daniel - red and blue respectively – which took a couple of hours but for the rest of the time he did tinker with some other stuff until Pepper literally dragged him out the workshop.

"Come on, let's just watch a movie, have some wine, maybe have sex," Pepper said pulling him into the lounge.

"I don't think I am in the mood for the last thing."

"Tony are you feeling okay?"

"I'm just tired. The movie and the wine sound a lot more tempting." About half an hour into the movie, Tony was close to falling asleep until JARVIS announced that Thor had arrived. "Can you tell him to wait until the morning?"

"He said he only wanted five minutes of your time. I am sure it will not eat into your busy schedule of falling asleep in front of _Miracle on 34__th__ Street_."

"Fine, let him in." A minute later, the elevator binged. "Hammerhead, you better have a good reason to be coming by at half nine in the evening."

"Tony, be nice," said Pepper.

"I wanted to offer a way of apologising for breaking your grandmother's decoration," Thor presented a wrapped gift to Pepper.

"I said it was fine," Tony responded.

"I doubt this would 'make it up' to you." Pepper unwrapped the gift and found an angel inside the box. "I tried to find the same angel as your grandmother's but this is the closet I could find."

"Wow, it is beautiful," Pepper said. She handed it to Tony who examined it.

"I just thought you could continue the tradition, only it would be a different angel."

"Thanks Thor. Thanks a lot."

"I promise not to break this one. I just hope you could forgive me."

"There was nothing to forgive. I mean it is just a Christmas ordainment." Tony shrugged and went to put in on the top of the tree. Quietly, he let a tear fall from his eye. It was more than just a Christmas ordainment but the fact that he had something to pass onto Jack, Daniel and Avery that had actual sentimental value did make him tearfully happy.

Not that he would show it of course.

**The End**


End file.
